


The Misconception of Common History

by ifitships_isits



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Historical References, Making out in a closet, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Tony needs brainbleach, Trapped In A Closet, Weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 00:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11771547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifitships_isits/pseuds/ifitships_isits
Summary: Tony gets an earful and an eyeful learning Cap isn't as inoccent and history isn't quite honest.  Which he should have already known. Poor Tony.(A little idea popped into my head while doing legalization information for treatments for pain. Sorry for spelling errors.)





	The Misconception of Common History

Tony was headed down to Bruce’s lab to grab some papers Bruce had forgotten about on the joint lecture that Jane and Bruce had left for this morning when he is stopped by a strange but compelling odor curling through the lab. He sniffs and follows the trail of familiar smelling smoke leaking out from under the door of the small closet in Bruce’s lab. He hears giggling, a muffled thump, and some creative cursing.  
“Damnit Buck. You knocked off the cherry. You try’n to catch us on fire? And I didn’t think this would work. This is pretty strong stuff.” He hears Steve curse again and cough.   
A high pitched giggle, one Tony recoginized as Jane’s lab assistant chimed in. “ It’s hot enough in here without that. I feel like the melted cheese in a supersoilder sandwich!”  
Tony hears another thump against the door, and leans in just in time to hear Bucky mutter, “I’d make you melt anytime you asked, doll.” Darcy lets out a moan and Tony stepped closer, putting his ear to the door. 

Yes, Tony thinks to himself. I am a Perv. I know this. Pepper knows this, everybody knows this. But should I really be listening to this?   
He should respect his teammates. He should grab the papers, head upstairs, and forget this ever happened. But REALLY!!!!!! CAPTAIN AMERICA WAS SMOKING WEED WHILE HIS BEST FRIEND WAS MOUNTING AN INTERN IN A BROOMCLOSET!!!!!! 

 

How could he not evesdrop? 

 

He puts his ear to the door. 

“Buck, not here.” he hears Steve admonish his friend. Darcy lets out a bit of a whine, but apperantly Bucky backs off. Tony hears a lighter being lit and then the familair smell gets stronger. Buck lets out a harsh cough, then a long sigh.   
“Shit. This is pretty strong stuff Darcy. Where the hell did you get it?”   
“ I know a guy… but I’m not going to tell you his name. No way I’m ratting out my guy to Captain America.”   
“Jees Darc. I’m ask’n because this is a lot stronger that the stuff from back in the war.”   
Darcy sputtered. “You smoked “the evil weed” back then? What about reefer madness? What about….” Bucky and Steve both started laughing.   
“La Guardia did a study. You know, the guy New York named the airport after. Sciencists said it don’t cause no problems, at least not the ones they claimed.” Steve adds a bit of a laugh at the end. “And after the mess that prohibition caused, he wasn’t about wastin money fighting a plant.”   
“Doll, ain’t no one beilived weed was bad for you. Well, not for most people. Steve here had to avoid it, like ciggarette smoke, but I damn near grew up with the stuff. And Steve’s right. It has gotten a lot stronger.” Bucky takes another hit.   
“Puff puff pass, jerk, you’re fucking up the rotation.” Darcy whines.   
There is a short scuffle and a few more muffled thumps. “Damnit!!! It’s my fucking weed assholes! You can’t bogart it all.”  
Steve starts laughing, causing a coughing fit of his own.   
“Come on, Darcy, baby. I haven’t smoked since ‘43.”   
“ I still have a hard time believeing that Captain America and the Howling Cammandos were lighing up doobies while taking on Hydra.” Darcy says condencnding.   
“Hell no! We was always dead sober while going on missions. ” Bucky says indigmnantly.   
There is a moment of slience, broken when Steve chokes on his hit and starts laughing. The sound of a small hand not quiet smacking the good captain and Darcy’s sharp “OW!”  
“Told ya Doll, Steve’s got a hard head. And stop bouncing around, It’s distracting.”   
“ I wanna smoke too! You guys have have hogged all my weed! Why didn’t you go through Sam? I’m sure he could get you a card through the VA.”   
“What’s that? They got cards now? Like ration stamps or something? I’m confused. Like it’s illegal, but the stuff is mostly harmless. I mean, my grams smoked the stuff when her eyes started acting up on her, and she didn’t even drink. What’s the deal with it now?” Bucky asks.   
Darcy sighs. “I have no idea anymore. Some states it’s legal, or at leaast not a lot. Some states only allow for medical use, although what each state deems medical is up to that state.” she pauses. “Actually, it just got approved here in New York to treat PTSD.”  
They must have finnally passed it back to her, as tony heard the girl take a deep breath and smoothly exhale.   
“Damn, girl. Are you a muggle?” It’s Darcy’s turn to sputter. “You’ve read Harry Potter?”  
“Who the hell is Harry Potter? I’ve Heard the name. Wasn’t he somekind of hero too?” Bucky asks.  
“No, Buck. He’s a book character from a long running book series. You know, like the Hobbit and Silmarillion. They have a huge group of followers. And Darcy, muggle used to mean something entirly different. Used to be slang for someone who smoked a lot of weed.”   
“Hugh. Weird. We call hem Potheads today.”   
“Harry Potter fans are called potheads?” Bucky asked. Darcy started giggling again.  
“No, people who smoke a lot of weed,....”   
Bucky chuckles.   
“You’re messing with me, aren’t you? You both are!” Steve laughs too.   
“Fine see if I share with you guys again!” Tony can hear the pout on her lips.   
“Doll, next time it’s our turn. I’ll talk to Sam and find out what we got to do. I don’t like the idea of YOU,” Steve’s voice low and deep, pauses as Darcy squeals, “ having to go to someone else.”  
“It’s not like I blaze every day, I just know and aprechiate good kush. Although I haven’t had medical grade since the dorm days. Jane’s allergic and Eric’s meds mess with him, sso i stopped back when I moved to New Mexico. I don’t remember getting this horny.” Darcy sounds breathless.   
Whatever is going on inside that closet was getting intresting again.   
“Yeah doll, I don’t think it’s the pot, but something is having an effect.” Bucky growls at her. She giggles and Steve sighs.   
“Buck, we ain’t got enough room in here to do this.”   
“Steve” Bucky whines.   
Darcy joins in. “Yeah… Steve… Pretty please?”   
(Cap is so screwed. Tony has been victim to Darcy’s puppy dog eyes and baby voice. It was over a shiney new machine for Jane, but he knows it’s power.)  
Tony leans even closer, listening for Cap’s answer, losing his balance and falling against the door with a clatter. He scrambles away from the door as it swings open, spilling oout a cloud of smoke and three people in various states of undress. Steve’s struggling to zip up his jeans, while Bucky is tugging on a shirt. Tony can’t see Darcy, a wall of muscle blocking his veiw, but he hears a zipper that isn’t Steve’s.   
Seilince fills the room.   
Tony, of couse, is the first one to speak.  
“I got papers.” Tony says, face as blank as possible.   
Try to act innocent. It’s never worked before.   
Steve and Bucky are too busy trying to not look like they were guilty as hell to notice Tony had been listening at the door and said papers were now scattered on the floor.   
He almost thinks it's working until Darcy pokes her head over Steve’s shoulder, eyes twinkling and eyebrows questioning. Tony holds up the retrived equasions Bruce had requested.   
Darcy giggles.   
“Wrong kind.” she says cheekliy.   
“I can see that.” Tony answers. Darcy comes out from behind her honor guard.   
Steve and Bucky look like a couple of school boys while Darcy casually finishes adjusting her dress and walks over to Tony. She grabs the papers, flipping through them with a glance. She sighs, reordering the stack and looking at the floor where Tony had dropped them in his fall. She leans over, grabbing a couple of pieces Tony had missed in his haste to pick them up. “Don’t give me too much shit. You know I got it from Bruce, right? He grows it in the hydro set he ordered months ago.”   
Steve finally finds his voice. “Wait. Bruce is “your guy”?”   
“Yeah. I saw it in the corner of the lab about a month ago. We bonded over stories of growing in our dorm rooms.” She shrugged. All of them looked at her. “What?” She looks directly at Tony. “Not all of us had an unlimited supply of cash in college. I sold mostly to cover my books and stuff.” She says defencevly.   
“Why didn’t you just say that Darcy? We thought you were going to some guy on the street.” Bucky says sheepishly.   
“A girl has to have thier secrets. Plus I wasn’t gonna go all narc on Bruce.”   
Tony laughs. “I think Bruce could make a good case for medical use.”   
“Yeah, but there’s nothing like growing your own. Plus Bruce is like, super-paranoid about it. I figured I can trust you guys, right? Plus, I know for a fact you’ve done much worse, Tony.” She is giving him serious side eye as she finishes putting the papers in order and taps them on a nearby table. She sets them down, knowing how much Tony hates having things handed to him. “Tell Jane to check her suitcase. I put a backup hardcopy of the presentation in there. She probley hasn’t even unpacked yet.” Darcy rolls her eyes.   
Tony grabs the fixed stack of papers, turning to leave. He pauses, looking at back at Steve.   
“So, good ol’ Captain America smokes pot? And feels up interns in a broom closet?”   
Bucky snorts. “That ain’t all the punk does in broom closets.” Steve clears his throat guiltly as Darcy barks out a laugh.   
Tony crosses his arms, getting a sly look on his face. “You know, I’m not sure Thor would approve of you fooling around with his Lightning sister. Or being a bad influcne on her.” They burst into laughter. Tony frowned.   
“Are you kidding? Thor warned Steve about her! Said she reminded him of Loki in his youth.” Darcy makes a wounded noise.  
“See if I ever share with you again!” Darcy snaps at him.   
“Doll, don’t be like that. I promise I’ll be real good at sharing later.” Bucky grins at her and winks. Steve blushes.   
Welp.  
It was time Tony beat a stratigic retreat. He was obiously losing thier attention, as Darcy wondered back over to the boys.   
“Could we move this to somewhere a little more private?” Steve asks as he circles his arms around Darcy.   
“Yeah, just let me grab something she says, ducking out of his arms and going back to the closet. She leans in, and all three men tilt thier heads as they stare at her ass in the pencil skirt she usually wore on days she wasn’t in the labs.   
Buck caught Tony staring, but he just gave him a shrug.   
“You looking at my girl, Stark?” Bucky growls out quiet enough Darcy wouldn’t hear.   
“Hey, I’m just looking. Pepper has your calendar.” He points at Steve. 

“Got it!” Calls Darcy, waving the small box the size of a deck of cards covered in fine lines. Tony squints at it.   
“Is that elvish?” Darcy shakes her head. “Asgardian. A gift from Thor. It’s magiced up so no one can open it but me! ” She taps the top and kisses the lock. It pops open and she tucks the last of the joint into the box. She closes it and tucks it into her bra.   
She snaps her fingers. “Now, Tony, go text Jane. I have had a ridiculous day filling out paperwork, and I don’t have to be back to work till Jane gets back on Tuesday. And Pepper’s calendar is Johnny Storm, not Cap.” THAT gets wounded looks from both Tony and Steve, but Bucky just chuckles. She points at Bucky when she notices Bucky laughing. She looks at him shrewdly, one eyebrow raised.   
“What?” Bucky says defensively. Darcy drags him down to her level and kisses him, then whispers in his ear. She ends by nipping at his ear and Bucky moans. Steve just rolls his eyes.   
“Now that THAT has been cleared up, what do you say we go back to my place where we can continue what you started in the closet, doll.” He sweeps Darcy up in his arms, bridal style. Darcy is giggling and Bucky follows them out.

“What? What did she say? How did she get the Winter Solider to blush?” Tony says, mostly to himself as he is left alone in Bruce’s lab. His phone beeps. Bruce telling him he found Jane’s copy. Tony rolls his eyes and walks out just in time to see the elevators close on the sight of Bucky grabbing Steve’s ass. Stairs, he thinks to himself. I think I’ll take the stairs.


End file.
